Getting out...

Hooray for overcast, fall skies and having a girlfriend with a baby three weeks younger then Junie.

It felt good to get out!

Photo shoot!

My sweet photographer friend Ashley offered to take some pictures of baby June earlier this week.  Honestly what momma is ever going to say now to tons and tons of pictures of their baby? 

Ha!

We had a hilarious time trying to get Junie in the right position 

(she was definently not the classic "sleepy newborn" that day....oh well)

We managed to capture the many faces of baby June. 

Tummy time face...

 ....laying down face...

 ...looking up at Momma face....

 ...silly faces....

 ...and extra chubby cheek face....OH how I love this one!!

 This one makes me laugh out loud....SO many chins....and HEY...a bit of a smile!

This one made Ezra laugh...he calls it her "squawking" face.

Thank you, Ashely, for the many new pictures to adorn my walls. =)  

I'm so lucky to have such a good friend!

Sunday morning

Remote control trains, trail mix granola bars, and a bed full of stuffed animals....such bliss.

Now if only we could get this party to start later then 6:30 AM...that would be TRUE bliss! =)

Rainy Saturday

Today was the first rainstorm in our new place!

We decided to gather up our seldom used gear and head outside to stomp around in puddles and explore.

 We found an amazing spider frantically trying to repair it's web....after a few minutes though it must have figured out it was fighting a losing battle and scuttled for shelter.

 Sitting in the "fort" (covered patio) we listened to the rain hitting the roof and splashing our little garden.

 Pretty soon the gutters were full and the puddles had waterfalls to play with.

 Eventually we headed back inside a bit wet and chilled.....nothing that a cozy fire, hot apple cider, and a table full of Legos couldn't warm right up. 

Oh how we love rainy days!

A Special Guest

 

We have been looking forward to today for almost 2 weeks now.

My Aunt Janet was visiting from Maryland, and we were SO lucky to snag an afternoon with her!

I'm pretty sure Ezra woke up at 6 AM waiting for her arrival. 

HA!

He was SO excited to show her EVERYTHING in his room...and she was SO patient to sit, play and listen to his endless stories. =)

 Junie was awake just long enough for snuggles and smiles.

 We had SO much fun talking, showing Aunt Janet the house, going for a walk in the meadow...as we waved goodbye and watched her drive away, Ezra slumped forward and slunked back into the house.  When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I'm just so sad that she had to leave" 

AWWWWW!  

The only thing that perked him up was talking about visiting her farm next summer and seeing Uncle Frank's GIANT tractor. =)

 When June got up this afternoon I finally got some pictures of her with the gorgeous blanket Aunt Janet knit for her arrival!

 My favorite part are these tiny little knit balls....they look like polka dots! =)

 It's perfect for snuggling....

 

...and story time. =)

 We love you SO much Aunt Janet.

Thanks for making our week!

We can't wait until we get to play with you again!

One Month

This post is late....

...and the plan was to take a more "organized" picture of sweet one month old Junie.

But, I'm telling the "it's not perfect" voice to be quiet this month in the intrest of documenting this fleeting time.

ONE MONTH!  

How is that possible!?

It feels like to took forever for Ezra to get to this stage...and BAM here we are almost overnight.

It's true what everyone has been saying....this time really does fly.

Here are some fun stats.

Height: 22 inches

Weight: 11.5 lbs!!

Head: 39 inches

Milestones: Has gone to church twice!  

(okay that might be more of a milestone for Talin and I getting everyone out the door on time)

Recently discovered her voice and spends her awake time coming up with new sounds to make us giggle.

Can lift her little wobbly turtle neck up and then arch her back at the same time to violently throw herself off of a shoulder she doesn't want to be leaning on...and startle whichever parent happens to be holding her.

Is a morning lark just like her brother...smiles, smiles, smiles, all morning long.

Speaking of her brother...June is always SO excited when he gives her attention.  Oh sure, she'll smile and coo at Talin and I but it is an all out FESTIVAL of joy when Ezra comes around.  She even tries to follow him with her weak little neck when he walks away.  We tell Ezra it's because she remembers him, she hasn't seen him in SO LONG that she just has to stare and stare to get her fill. =)

June's story (it's long...you've been warned!)

9 months ago I dropped Ezra off at preschool and the headed home to a giant stack of paperwork that I couldn't wait to go through.
Talin and I had begun preparing for our first IVF procedure in January and there was a LOT to do!
As I flipped through page after page of consent form and information sheets I came across directions for starting medication.  The first check box on the list was "take a pregnancy test".  Admittedly, this seemed like a cruel step to make any woman struggling with fertility do, but those fertility meds are no joke.  Begrudgingly I headed to the bathroom and watched as once again my little blue line refused to make an appearance.  As I got ready to throw away the stick I consoled myself, that this time I didn't have to be as heartrendingly sad as I had been the past hundred times things had ended this way.  This time we had a plan.....but as I sat there thinking these "Hey look on the bright side" thoughts.....it came....a faint second line.

(Can you even see it?? That tiny plus sign??)

My heart stopped....I think it really did actually....I remember telling myself to walk away and come back in a few minutes because I was hallucinating.  I paced the front room wringing my hands then dashed back.  I'm pretty sure I crept into the bathroom on tippy toes and leaned over the sink ever so slooooooowly so as not to frighten the faint positive away.....but it was still there!!!!!
That's when I went nuts!
I remember sobbing, hyperventilating, rationally trying to tell myself to calm down because who knew what this could mean.....but after 2 and a half years of negative sticks.....I celebrated  by shouting and laughing!
I picked up my phone to call Talin, and then realized I didn't want to get his hopes up.  What if this was another ectopic, or worse, a faulty test.  I dialed my fertility nurse instead.  When I told her the news she started shouting too, and told me to come in RIGHT NOW for a blood test confirmation.  By the time Talin got home from work I was an antsy mess.  I finally couldn't stand it anymore...once we had Ezra snuggled into bed I quietly sat next to him on couch, kissed him, and asked if he'd like to be a daddy again. =)
He was SO surprised....and so happy!  In the midst of our celebrating I finally got the results from my test back.  The numbers were low...but they were there...I was pregnant! (my initial tests were low because I had only been pregnant for 4 days! HA!)

7.5 months ago it was the day after Christmas.
 Talin and Ezra came with me for my final ultrasound with the infertility department at Kaiser.  We all got to see our little jelly bean baby and as we prepared to leave they handed me my "graduation papers".
I was no longer considered a high risk pregnancy, and was officially handed off to a "normal" obgyn.
I cried again!

1 month ago I woke up knowing that I was going to call the hospital and cancel my induction.  My doctor and I had been going back and forth about inducing...but I really wanted to give my body the chance to begin labor when it was ready.  As I canceled my appointment I was told to come in for a non-stress test.
"No problem" I thought.
I did two weeks of NST's with Ezra. =)
As the technician prepared her ultrasound machine we chatted about various topics, but as soon as her wand touched my belly things got serious.  "Did you know that your baby is breech?" she asked.  I was SHOCKED...within a matter of days our little girl had flipped her way back around and was snuggled up against my ribs.
GRRRR!
She was categorized an "unstable lie"...
(which is medical talk for "weasel")
...and I was once again scheduled for an external cephalic version.
Driving home to the boys I got a call from my OB.  It turned out that the doctor who usually does the ECV procedure was refusing to do mine because I was full term (it's usually done around 36 weeks).  I was scared....what did that mean?  My doctor kindly put my fears to rest and assured me that if I could come back to the hospital at 4:00 that afternoon she would do the procedure herself...IF I promised to induce right after (no more waiting around for my body and my baby to sync up and come. ha!) Talin kicked into high gear after that.  He ran around preparing the house for our absence
(the cats had never SEEN so many bowls of food left out!)
 I took a shower and mentally tried to prepare myself for what was happening.  I had gone over scenario after scenario of how June's birth might go, but NEVER once had I planned for something like this.  We drove across the bridge in the late afternoon sunlight.
It was such a clear day and the city stood out against the creeping fog like a fairytale castle.
Ezra, in the back seat, chatted on and on about getting to sleep over with his best buddy Peter.  I felt so calm, despite the hurried, unprepared rush we were in.
After dropping Ezra off (SOOOOO many kisses goodbye....he was READY for me to leave!) and getting a beautiful blessing (thank you Neil and Talin) we pulled into the hospital and calmly walked to the second floor where the nurses were waiting for us.

I changed into a gown but sat next to Talin on the visitor couch instead of getting in bed.  When the nurse came back in to hook me up to the IV stand she cautiously asked, "did your doctor talk to you about staying overnight?"
We couldn't help but laugh!
Talin had left the bags in the car (in the interest of time) and there I was staring at her from the couch instead of the bed.
She must have thought I was in denial!

Eventually my sweet OB walked in and really before I even knew what was happening the ECV was underway.
It was I-N-T-E-N-S-E to say the least.
Not so much painful.....as overwhelming really.
I can't explain it other then to say it felt like someone grabbing ahold of the baby hanging out in your body and pushing/shoving that little body around.
WHEW!
The good news was that it was successful.
June was turned back down and two very strong nurses strapped my belly in a tight, tight, band so she couldn't weasel her way back up.  For the next two hours she kicked, punched, and squirmed.  I'm sure she was trying to find a little foothold to push herself back to her cozy, head up, position.

We settled in for our stay....

 ...all night long we sat and waited for the pitocin to kick in...

.....allllllllllllll night long nothing happened....again.
 
 Just like Ezra's birth.
By the time my doctor arrived in the morning to check on me I was almost in tears.
She suggested that I let her break my water, even though our baby girl was still high, and see if that started my labor like it did with Ezra.
She headed off to a c-section and let me think about it......just then....MY MOM WALKED IN!!! There is something so DANG magical about my mom!  Even just the smell of her breezing through the door with a smile on her perfect face made me cry tears of relief!
She was the renewing breath of fresh air that we needed, and by the time my OB came back we were ready to break my water.
(and, sadly, I don't have a single picture of me reveling in my "mom time"...I guess some things are meant to be enjoyed....not documented, right?)

All went well (I got an epidural RIGHT after my water was broken....and it was awful....but it worked...so oh well).

By 11:30 my contractions were coming in regular waves.

Ezra was dropped off at the hospital...
(THANK YOU for taking care of him Lindeman family!  What would we do without you!?)
...and he came up to say hi and give me a kiss.
Snuggling him and watching him walk off hand in hand with "Mee Mee" washed all of my anxiety away.

We settled in for what we thought might be a long haul
(Ezra took 17 hours to arrive once my water was broken)
 My amazing sister,Lisa, sent me spotify music suggestions, and our room quietly became my little meditation zone.
I could feel the pressure and, after about an hour, some deep pain with each contraction but Talin was right by my side to help me through them.
At one point during a contraction the nurse came in and showed me something they'd noticed about my monitor strip at the nurses desk.
With each dip, rise, and steady line of my heart beat, baby girl's was an exact mirror!
(can you see it on the top line of the above picture)
"She's a momma's girl already", she teased.
Imagining how close I was to snuggling that little girl empowered me to push through. =)

At 1:30, the nurse came back in to check on me...
(much to my dismay...I really didn't want to hear how little I'd progressed)
...but, she hurriedly said, "Okay don't push, the doctor will be here soon."
I looked at Talin, he had the same confused look that I did....what did she mean don't push?
Things kicked into high gear, the doctor rushed in and pulled on a gown, the nurses pulled out the baby warmer and various supplies.  I clung to Talin's hand, all of the activity made me anxious...why were they moving so fast?  Wouldn't I know if I was close to giving birth?
HA!
My doctor calmly looked at me and said "okay on the next contraction go ahead and push".
I laughed....was she crazy?
 I'm sure I was no where NEAR the pushing stage.  But, holding my knees I did as was told and the nurse at my side quietly cooed, "ohhhhh look at her little ear!"
WHAT??
Her head was almost out in one push?!!??!?!
It took me an HOUR to get Ezra's noggin anywhere near to coming out.
On the next push my OB calmly demanded, "Stop pushing!  She's doing this herself!"
I'm so glad I took a few seconds to look at Talin and see his quiet tears when he saw his daughter for the first time.

June Margo made her own way into the world at 1:48pm.
As I pulled her perfect body up onto my waiting chest and watched Talin prepare to cut her cord, I thought about that day in the final infertility ultrasound.....

...that day in the bathroom with the surprise positive test....

...that day on my knees after learning about my ectopic....
...pleading with my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to face the trials ahead and begging to be blessed once again by his most precious of gifts.
 Burying my face in her damp head of hair (HAIR!) the whisperings of the spirit were so strong.
"Fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks."
-D&C 98:1

I have no idea when things in our room got cleaned up...
(although I DO remember being told that I didn't have a tear! WOOO!)
...or if I even told my doctor thank you.
I only remember Talin's body pressed close to mine and June's as we said a prayer of thanksgiving and basked in the warm glow of holding heaven in our arms.

Next up: Ezra meets June. =)

The bad news

Sometimes silly games on a hot, hot night land you in the SUPER crowded ER.

The good news is that he had a GREAT time hanging out with the doctors and nurses...the bad news is that his clavicle is definitely broken. =(

Heat Wave!

Today has been our hottest week at the house so far! 

(Yes, Mom and Dad..even hotter then when you were here!)  

I think we almost reached 90 degrees, which in this cool little canyon has been quite the shocker!  

We spent the day trying to keep cool, but busy......

...we washed cars in the shade...

...hung all the diapers out to soak up some of those delicious rays.....

....thinned out the garden....although I'm not sure the lettuce can actually be thinned at this point!

..and napped under the ceiling fans as best we could.

Things are supposed to cool off by the end of the week, luckily.

I always forget about the bay area's late summers!

First Day!

When we moved last month I began a frantic search for a new preschool for Ezra.  

To be honest, I was never really that impressed with what we had on the peninsula and I prepared myself to find even less in Castro Valley.

(poor Ezra, stuck with such a picky teacher mom!)

Then, it happened, I found the most GLORIOUS preschool, set high on a hill....with the perfect blend of academics and playtime.  

It was PERFECT!!  

Except...then I found out that the local elementary schools run a transitional kindergarten 

(basically free preschool) 

and that Ezra missed the deadline by 10 days.....TEN DAYS!!

Thus began an epic battle between the school district and Talin and I....SIGH. 

In the end, it came down to our integrity as parents, and transitional kindergarten.

We chose integrity.

Are you proud?

HA!

Luckily, the amazing preschool still had room, and before we knew it, Ezra's 2013 pre-k year was starting!

The night before the big event we went school shopping for new school clothes, a new backpack/water bottle, and shoes.  

(So many fun memories of shopping for each new school year with my mom came flooding back to me!) 

Ezra was DETERMINED to get light up shoes 

(BLEH, I would like to find the designer who came up with the idea of flashing laser light up shoes and give him/her a piece of my mind)

At the end of our little spree, we stopped for dinner at the Red Tractor Cafe, and sat outside, picnic style, enjoying the last rays of summer sun.

 Junie even woke up to join in the conversation!

 The next morning we frantically ran around trying to get the kids fed 

(waffles for the big one) 

and out the door.  

I have no idea how I ever would have made it on time without Talin home to help!

 As we pulled into the big parking lot Ezra quietly said, "I'm feeling nervous Mom". 

My stomach did a little flip flop for him.  

 Despite his big words, huge ideas, and mature little attitude, I sometimes forget just how small my "tiny adult" actually is. 

We said a quiet prayer together in the car and then hand in hand headed off to meet his teacher.  

With each step he seemed to grow a little more confident...

 ...and by the time we made it to his classroom he was ready to kiss me goodbye and head for the playground with only a tiny backwards wave.

When I picked him up that afternoon he was full of stories and songs, and couldn't wait to go back again!

Hooray for a new beginning!

Now wish me luck that I can get him to school on time once Talin heads back to work.

=)

A quiet moment....

“Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.”

― Marc Brown