Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Hope

The earliest memories of my grandmother are mainly made up of senses and feelings....her bright warm house so safe and inviting, the dry smell of her finished basement with it's enormous chalkboard covering one whole wall....the taste of her thick, warm, wheat bread and lemon tinged vanilla ice cream fresh from the salty churn.  

As I grew, the memories were made in a quiet comfortable friendship with unconditional love.  
The sound of her  "big bad wolf" impression creaking across the phone line as she tried to convince me that it wasn't really my Grandmother calling but a character from a fairy tale.....school shopping with her and coming home with a khaki circle skirt complete with matching top....sitting with her at the dinner table after most of the family had moved on and talking while picking at serving bowls still holding garden ripe fruits and salads.

Almost 5 years ago I sat across from her again and tried to remind her who I was.  
I held up a picture of myself and she told me all about her granddaughter Jenny and what she was doing with her life.  
I didn't mind, I didn't even feel sad.  
She may not have connected my face with that picture, but she still knew who I was.  
2 years ago I hugged her at a cozy Christmas dinner.  
She smiled politely at me and talked about the cute little boy that sat on my lap.  I realized that the memories that she had of me had faded away.



Last week she was released from this earthly life, and I am profoundly grateful for the knowledge that I have....
...the knowledge that doesn't just whisper to my aching heart, but screams to my rational head....  
...the knowledge that I will see her again, and the next time we meet, she will KNOW me!  
I can not wait for that day to be gathered in her arms again, and to thank her for all that she has given me.  
The choices she made in her life on Earth affected my eternity and for that I will forever be in her debt.  

Her funeral was peaceful.  
We were all sad to be left behind for a time, but the message of hope and the understanding of eternal families rang true.
Lisa found a beautiful poem that elegantly put words to the spirit we all felt....


The Ship of Life  by John T Baker

Along the shore I spy a ship
As she sets out to sea;
She spreads her sails and sniffs the breeze
And slips away from me.
I watch her fading image shrink,
As she moves on and on,
Until at last she's but a speck,
Then someone says, "she's gone".
Gone where?  Gone only from our sight
And from our farewell cries;
That ship will somewhere reappear
To other eager eyes.
Beyond the dim horizon's rim
Resound the welcome drums,
And while we're crying, "There she goes"
They're shouting, "Here she comes!"

I love you Grandma June.
I will miss you...until we meet again!




3 comments:

Amy said...

What a sweet poem. My husband lost his grandmother last week as well. I'm sorry for you loss. I enjoyed hearing your memories of your grandma. It helps to cherish those special times we shared with them.

krissy o said...

Oh, honey, that is so sweet and touching!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Jenny for you sweet comments about Grandma. I know it was hard for you that she didn't remember things very well at the end. You are right, now she is clear and knows our challenges and seeks ways to help, she also shares in our Joys. I know we will be back together again soon, but our mortal lives make it feel so far away. Be still and look with your heart, she is there now, walking along side us offering her encouragement, wit and love. Listen can you hear her? I can.

Love you XOXOX Mom

 

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